Thursday, September 21, 2006

Scott Tenerman On Demand

South Park Season 5, Episode 1

Heddy, heddy, heddy, how's it goin guys.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Calm Like a ?

AWKWARD TOAD CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(It's like Deal or No Deal except without the money or the hot girls or Howie Mandel.)

The first person to guess the other (more popular) name for this essay, Industrial Society and Its Future, will be the first person to guess the other name for this essay!!

Read it here:

I know, it's easy. You probably didn't even have to click the link. God you are smart.

(The thing is, if the author got his way, I would never have read it. But I guess that would be ok because I would be too busy satisfying my own personal power struggle by killing animals and mating.)

That being said, it is REAL FUCKIN' INTERESTING, JER.

(It's also fuckin' long, so if you are interested, don't try to read it all at once. And if you are not interested, feel free to say so with a sarcastic comment in the comments section. I promise not to send you any threatening mail.)


Saturday, September 09, 2006

Labor Day

Each year, without knowing it, Americans take a day off to celebrate Socialism.

(God, we are such commie bastards.)

On September 4, the workers of our glorious nation relax, drink beer, eat barbecue, and don't think about how their long hours of toil for meager wages are being systematically exploited to produce great wealth for less than 1% of the population.

The rest of the world does this on May 1st, but the rest of the world are fucking retards.

Labor Day traces its roots back to the Knights of Labor, who began the holiday by parading around the streets of New York City in 1882. (And yes, those Knights were affiliated with that other group of Knights, although they kind of shot themselves in the foot because once Labor Day was established as a holiday, their uniform became oddly unfashionable for the next four months.)

These days, Labor Day is known as a time of heavy travel and traffic, as folks fill their SUV's with ethanol-enhanced gasoline and drive to the beach for a final time before saying so long to summer.

(Aside - Click this link to find out why the law mandating ethanol-enhanced gasoline is stupid.
I thought people voted for Republicans because they don't pass laws regulating free trade and they hate gay people not just because they hate gay people.)

This year, 93.3 WMMR, which was once Philadelphia's best choice for rock and roll and is now Philadelphia's only choice for rock and roll, aired a four day A-Z countdown of the “Greatest Songs Ever Written.”

The Toad happened to catch a few hours of this broadcast as he migrated north along the New Jersey Turnpike.

Included in the countdown were:

“Minority” by Green Day

“Machine Head” by Bush

“Lump” by The Presidents of the United States of America

“Modern Day Cowboy” by Tesla

2 songs by The Pretenders that I didn’t know

And some odd, guitar-wa
nking cover of “Lowrider”

Truly, some of the “Greatest Songs Ever Written.”