Friday, June 09, 2006

This is the World We Live In...


And these are the creepy robotic hands we’ve been given.

From the BBC news…

Scientists have discovered a way to reproduce the acute sensitivity of human touch in robotic hands. Through a process I don’t pretend to understand (that is, science), professors at the University of Nebraska have finally surmounted one of the greatest hurdles on the path to our own destruction and domination.

By way of demonstration, the pair of hell-bent researchers used their device to touch a penny and it registered the grooves that comprised Abe Lincoln’s clothes and the “TY” in “Liberty.”

For this blogger, the development of robot hands seems to be the next logical step down the road toward human supplication by a race of power-driven robots fueled by a self-evolving artificial intelligence.

One researcher, however, does not see these dire consequences.

In a conference call, philosopher and sometime geologist Dr. Matthew McConnell called this theory “a piece of trash” and postulated that “his boy Bricker” could “get a robot to tap out in ten seconds.” He sees no evidence for the development of A.I and does not worry for the human species.

When he pressed for details, the interviewer was called a “fucking retard” and challenged to a match of foosball which he respectfully declined.

The call was ended when the slurred voice of an unidentified female was heard in the background, speaking loudly and warning the interviewer that the man he was talking to “knows absolutely nothing about running. NOTHING!” This voice, however, was silenced by the click of the telephone receiver.

We do not know where Brett the Mad Scientist, stands on this issue as he could not be reached for comment (read: I don't have his phone number), but our guess would be his theory is something soulless and spirit-killing.

Developing…

6 Comments:

At 7:04 PM, Blogger irving longface said...

is anyone else frightened for the safety of the unknown female with dr. mcconnell???

 
At 8:57 PM, Anonymous Mick said...

I do fear AI, he goes straight to the paint, no fear. Hes listed at 6 foot but hes not an inch over 5 10!

 
At 8:58 PM, Anonymous P.S. said...

Bricker once got a robot to tap before it had arms, I dont know how to describe it.

 
At 2:41 AM, Blogger SMangat said...

when does skynet come online?

 
At 6:40 AM, Anonymous Keith said...

...Yes, but can a robot sense the grooves around a 50 year old hooker's ass... THAT would be worth writing about...

 
At 1:09 AM, Anonymous Brett said...

Robots with a sensitive touch? Bring on the pr0n-bots! As far as world domination goes though, everyone knows that MechWarriors don't need to know how many freckles you have on your arm before they tear it off. I'm just sayin'...

 

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