Friday, February 03, 2006

I'll Show You Mine...

Get it? She's sad. Hot. And sad. ------

In a shameless ploy to attract female readers to this blog (and my bedroom), I am naming Fiona Apple's 2005 album Extraordinary Machine as the top album release of last year.

The long awaited lp from the most sought after "Criminal" of the late 90's capitalizes on the stellar production of Mike Elizondo.

A previous version of the album was recorded with Jon Brion, who produced her sophmore effort "When the Pawn Hits the Conflit He Thinks Like a King and Titles His Album Some Arty Bullshit That Doesn't Make Any Sense and Turns off 90% of Potential Buyers Simply Because it Makes the Artist Appear Way Too Into Herself and Never Ends and Eventually People Begin Refering to the Album as Something Like When the Pawn I Don't Know Some Fuckin Shit..." Those cuts, however, sat on Epic's shelf for several years, collecting dust and leading some to speculate that the record industry had another Yankee Hotel Foxtrot on its hands. According to my sources (things I read on the internet), the difference here was that the album truly was unlistenable and needed a guiding hand to return the sultry goddess to top from.

Enter Elizondo, who's resume won't be listed here, as it contains a majority of acts that the people reading this blog don't enjoy, and may, in fact, detest. One listen to Extraordinary Machine, however, leaves no doubt that this guy knows what he's doing. The backing tracks immediately hook us in, never overwhelm the vocals and are just unpredictable enough to insure repeated listens. And Fiona is not bad either. Her voice strikes a compelling balance between soulful desperation and truthful, hard-won optimism, with just a hint of sexual healing sprinkled throughout. (Is any of this true...I don't know, it sounds good though. - ed)

So...The Awkward Toad has weighed in.

Although music is not my specialty, I've shown my cards. I've laid it all out on the table.

Because I care...about you...liking me.

I'm giving away free music reviews. And the Longface? Out stomping the grounds of Malaysia searching for some mythical beast? And where is Mofo? Working 5 days a week and taking classes at night? Do they even care about you?

Well, how 'bout it other bloggers I know. Do you Mofo's have any Quibbles with my selection? Let's see yours.

(You too, Mole Man. All those mustaches look the same.)


At 11:47 AM, Blogger irving longface said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:48 AM, Blogger irving longface said...

you have the courage to say what i could not myself. and that picture of fiona apple is coming to bed with me tonight. and i like the original jon brion version better, because i am a total scenester.

At 7:55 AM, Blogger SMangat said...

the music video for Criminal launched me into puberty, meaning I beat off a lot to it


Post a Comment

<< Home